Being Beta

Exercises in the higher banter with One of 26. Elsewhere called 'poet of adland'. By a whipple-squeezer. Find out why being beta is the new alpha: betarish at googlemail dot com

Friday, October 09, 2015

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 40

BetaRish is...

is a culture of volume

“Finally meeting my Austerlitz!” “Benny, I’m not sure that works.”

Summer slips away again

is all pixels and notifications

Dance dance dance to the ad-supported streaming service

is all of the filter

Last day of this view

First day vibes

The breeze is waiting to emerge

is an armful

is a man of infinite desires

is a new wave synth pop macro economist

Time is water

Made it

is by another canal

Did St Swithin have anything to say about humidity?

is trying to get out from behind the cue ball

Burble bibble boom

is adrift on an ever-changing sea of schedules

is in the office on a Friday shocker

is off to charm school again

is of the view that 8am client meetings are wrong

Old soul, new shoes

Whither the bassoon?

Emily Hasler’s status updates through this morning’s innings are my favourite Ashes commentary of the summer so far

A = A, eh?

is an elegant choice of font

has an A-level in remembering

It might be time for a fine tune

is an impermanent fixture on the landscape

And then we begin as we end

…and time stretched out, knowing it wouldn’t fit in its uniform any more

Summer cold imminent

…and of course the sun comes out the day after a bank holiday…

Power is as power does

is not reigning anywhere

has a world-class talent for worrying

has it if you want it oh yeah check it out

is building a bunker

is as easy to dislodge as an Australian prime minister

is still not the whole hog

is professional ashes

Still has his Equinox cold

had a phrase, and now its gone

is going forward with his forward-looking plan to go to the Forward Prizes for Poetry this evening

is a proponent of Uncreative Facebook

was a candidate for something

Oh what? Oh, that.


Sunday, September 06, 2015

A busy week

of poetic and other related blatherings from me. In case you missed them, and frankly, I nearly did:

A new poem at Visual Verse

A new piece for issue 2 of LossLit

A new poem for the Writers for Calais Refugees project

An interview with Nothing In The Rule Book

...and a new poem for them too.

I should probably go for a period of purdah now.

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Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Poetry: The Rialto 83 launch

Come and celebrate issue 83 of The Rialto making it into the world, and the graduation of me and Holly from the Rialto / Poetry School editorial development programme. Joining us to read some of their work will be: Jake Campbell, John Clegg, Katie Griffiths, Alyson Hallett, Emily Hasler, Hannah Lowe, Alex MacDonald and Rachel Piercey. Do hope you can be there too.

Wednesday 22 July, 7.30pm
The King & Queen, 1 Foley Street, London, W1W 6DL

Free, but we'll be passing round a hat for donations to Macmillan Cancer Support.


Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 39

What's on your mind, BetaRish?

My eclipse is complete

is washing his face in your sink

The trouble with me is just water under the bridge

is the fight you came for

Mouth, bad taste etc

is dissolved like a parliament

Look up. What do you see?

is a fool with a feel for foolish behaviour

Where’s my Maundy purse then?

Hello desk
Wiggle the niggles away with a giggle
I am mostly snot, Lemsip, coughs and jetlag
kay, whatabout amirite?  
*mic drop* *crane bounce*
is an armful
is touch about some previous comments he made eight years ago
has found treachery in his perfidy
Mither, muckle, mizzle do
is a delinquent descendent of late 80s Belgian dance music’s hybrid aesthetic
Where’s me red flag?
goes to quiet places to make his brain loud
is a template for data analysis
Vote early, vote often &c
has not been shuffled
is in debate with delectable
is looking up
until the end
*thinks* *feels* *stop thinking*
wotcha gonna promise me this time?
is a dream of a setting sun
is trying to carpe his diems
is all and nothing
Here we are, here we are in my Paisley Underground crib
You can only step into the river of data with a spreadsheet
is a blazer
is a vellum parchment
For a short week, this has been a long week
remains stunned that June could ever be considered flaming
is all the way back to then beginning again
is on time for being late
is dancing to Marquee Moon
is hyperlexic
is filling in boxes
asked, and is still waiting to get
lacks the necessary temporal conditions
is waiting for the great leap forward
is spearheading your public radio station’s membership drive
has forgotten what the question is but knows the answer is Yes


Wednesday, May 13, 2015

A Longing Look: me on R.E.M.

Delighted to have made my debut, over on Medium, for new publication A Longing Look, where I am wittering on about R.E.M.'s 'E-Bow the Letter'. Go read, tell all your friends etc.

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Thursday, March 19, 2015

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 38

BetaRish (is)...

is inside the outside

has crinkled

can’t help it

is lazily humorous and lightly amiable

is of the persuasion

is all focaccia and trapezes

is a loose wire in an induction hob

Oh good grief why are you boring me in this way?

Pop the champagne

Why are the mercies always small?

is being overwhelmed by his ludic tendencies

is singing you to shipwreck

has been appointed by Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel

Always Be Citrus

is drafting ‘Notes on yearning’

has been booted by the reboots

Man needs to be told

is dipping the cranes

Bring on the dancing sharks!

is mostly vitamin C

is snaffled

is subject to the Maxwellisation process

is on hold for jabs

is the actual condition

has failed to respect artistry again

Just surfaced from the sickbed

has a new view

is both sign and referent

is all plots and plans


is not suffering from Statuettegate

Sweet talk like candy rots teeth

is mostly a product of his teenage soundtrack

The big wheel keeps on turning

misses C90s

And all this I’ve done for you

The present is past, as is the future

is using his personal account for communications

is available for merchandising opportunities

No space on the G drive

fears that the powers that be don’t like paper

gives you permission to copy this groove

I think the pollen is lying in wait for me

Too much flak

is the national bird

has been up here, for almost too long

…nope, nothing doing…

is a correspondent


Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Poetry: Rhyme for the Tube competition

Most of you Londoners and/or regular Tube users will have no doubt seen the lovely rhyming posters exhorting everyone else – because your etiquette is perfect – to be that ever bit more considerate of your fellow travellers.

Think you can do better, with your spondees and dactyls actually changing people's behaviour? Well, here's your chance.

Pick one of the those things that narks you about travelling on the Tube: people scoffing smelly food, talking too loudly on their phones, you know the drill. Then write a short rhyming poem about it, and why people jolly well shouldn't do it.

The winning poem will not only end up emblazoned on posters right across the network, but the winning poet's fizzog will also feature in the cartoon in said posters too.

Need inspiration? Here's one I just cranked out:

"On the escalator, don't stop on the left
As those walking down will be bereft.
You won't have to do anything grand:
Just move to the right if you'd like to stand."

Of course you can do better. Jump to it! More details in the poster below, and full info at the #travelbetterlondon tumblr.


Monday, February 16, 2015

Poetry: Lawyering &c

ICYMI, my latest blog for the Poetry School as part of my Rialto editorial development programme, ruminating on how one might build a case for a poem you might like to publish.


Monday, January 19, 2015

Poetry: Coffee-House Poetry

I'm reading at the Troubadour in Earls Court next Monday, 26 January, in the company of some fine poets. Full details below. Come along, you can always catch Corrie on itv Player...


mon 26 jan: salon d’hiver with rishi dastidar, kate ghyll, agnieszka studzinska, soul patel, angela kirby, jacqueline saphra, nick mackinnon & laura scott with henry fajemirokun

Troubadour prelude to spring with a sparkling winter wordfest from:
  • Rishi Dastidar is a member of Malika’s Poetry Kitchen a The Complete Works Fellow was a runner-up in 2011 Cardiff International Poetry Competition, & featured in 2014’s Ten: The New Wave (Bloodaxe, 2014)
  • Kate Ghyll has worked for Poetry Society of America, published short stories, acted in filmmaker Sophie Fiennes’ Front Row Orchestra & is starting an online cultural magazine The Reconnaissance
  • Agnieszka Studzinska’s debut collection, Snow Calling, was shortlisted for 2010’s London New Poetry Award: her second is What Things Are (Eyewear, 2014)
  • strategy consultant & Capoeira (Brazilian dance/martial-arts) practitioner Soul Patel is a Faber Academy graduate & member of Malika’s Poetry Kitchen
  • Angela Kirby’s poems have been read on Radio 4 & BBC TV, & translated into Romanian — her 3rd Shoestring collection is A Scent of Winter (2013)
  • Jacqueline Saphra’s The Kitchen of Lovely Contraptions (flipped eye, 2011) was an Aldeburgh First Collection nomination – If I Lay On My Back I Saw Nothing But Naked Women (Emma, 2014) is an illustrated book of prose-poems
  • history teacher Nick MacKinnon lives in Winchester & Cambridge — his recent prizes include 2012 Keats-Shelley, 2012Hippocrates & 2013 Forward Best Single Poem
  • Laura Scott’s magazine publications include Poetry Review & Tate Etc. – her pamphlet What I Saw (Rialto, 2013) won the Michael Marks Award
  • plus singer/songwriter Henry Fajemirokun


Wednesday, January 07, 2015

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 37

BetaRish (is)...

My life is mostly paint and words at the moment

The list is growing

has his nose pressed up against the glass

Oh heck, oh heck, oh heck

Time to get on with it


Light is fantastic

remains confused by people’s willingness to put their heads inside crocodile jaws



is an unreliable temperature gauge

has had his cover blown

is a dragoman

is a real-time deal delivery system

is a slave to tetrameter

is as frail as vaudeville

is entranced

is available to be a brand’s poetry partner

is gathering

leapt tall buildings in a single bound

is in the world

The simple schemes are always the most fiendish

Only the paranoid tweet once

is the universal service obligation

Remember me to the Ways and Means Committee

Remember me to the Undercity

is the definition

is practicing his spontaneity

So ends my first visit to Norwich. Hope to see more of you next time

is your clueless sidekick

grumble grumble, grumble grumble

too much chain, not enough mail

is a mean new rebel

Who is the what is the who?

is 37 signal strong

is a model of make believe

is burbling

Or maybe it’s too much?

is tripping the fuse fantastic

…and breathe…

lacks the power

is lacking power again

A stomach bug is not ideal Christmas preparation

Good things to all men. Except them. They’re rotters

is at work

May your 2015s be wonderful, your tribulations tiny, and your triumphs tremendous

Pinch punch… oh, the first day back in the office isn’t meant to be violent

is a voracious tweeter of bon mots