Being Beta

Exercises in the higher banter with One of 26. Elsewhere called 'poet of adland'. By a whipple-squeezer. Find out why being beta is the new alpha: betarish at googlemail dot com

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 37

What's on your mind (BetaRish)?

The lamps never go out on social media

is an extended preamble

is struggling with remoteness, access

is tousled of mane

lacks a usable phrase for this slot

is a series of watery adjectives

The clowns have it hardest

is a silo-buster

1914 called. It wants its geopolitical instability back

has a knickerbocker and doesn’t know what to do with it

is readying his album of sentimental presentiments

Always good to bump into Beth Emmens in Hammersmith, plotting world domination

Will you still love a man out of time?

is quiet, and the good citizen is happy

is trying to discourage frivolous Facebooking, especially by servants

is dodging the inevitable

Bouncy bouncy run stop

is practising his forward defensive

is he?

is making hard lemonade

is the results of love and wine

is a dromomaniac

has been today he hasn’t filled this bit in

Crank, squeak, grind, pffut. That’d be my back saying hello

is a haptic interface

Whither the weather? Whatever

Tell you what

I wrote for luck

is still contemplating a riot after The Riot Club

Hello democracy!

Fag-packet constitution? Or the back of an envelope job?

Destiny thy name is Scone

is living in a Buster Keaton movie today

But what was decided?

This bird is waddling

Wishes J. Alfred a happy birthday

Bend and flex, flex and bend

Taste is on the tongue of the beholder

and the blue eagle blues

r u gonna poem doe? #nationalpoemday

is a house of tine and timber

Oh man, nervous already

Well, on we go

is being tidal

[insert rant about senior management types here]

Not sure emojis are widening my vocabulary

is now being followed by a black sheep

has failed to do this today


Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Commercial: Continuous partial argument

Also known as some thoughts about the future of copywriting by me, now available over at Medium.


Friday, September 12, 2014

Poem: Strategies to save the Union

Published over here.


Tuesday, September 02, 2014


For those who have been following this sorta thing over on Twitter, you can now see a complete list of the things that social media is destroying over on tumblr.


Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Poetry: Telltale Press launch

No doubt I'll tell you about this again in due course, but I'm delighted to be reading at the launch of the Telltale Press on Wednesday 1st October at the Poetry Cafe in Covent Garden. Full details on the flyer. Tell all your friends etc.


Monday, August 11, 2014

Poetry: The Complete Works launch event

You will get bored of me going on about this over the next couple of weeks. But for now: book early! Book often! Etcetera!


Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Poetry: Two new ones at And Other Poems

I've been on a but of a roll at the mo. Here's another two new ones, published under the good auspices of And Other Poems. Enjoy.


Tuesday, August 05, 2014

A preamble for a new constitution

You might not have noticed it, but there's a competition currently running, which gives you the chance to write a preamble to a new, modern, written constitution.

You can read my entry here – I'm posting it as I was slightly more tongue in cheek than honourably jurisprudential in tone, so I doubt it'll make the final cut.

You should have a go and enter though. Full details over on the Parliament website.


Friday, August 01, 2014

Poetry: The Stare's Nest

In case you missed 'em yesterday, I was lucky enough to have three poems published over at The Stare's Nest. You can read 'em over that way, as well as many other fine, optimistic, uplifting ones.


Thursday, July 31, 2014

Listorama: Facebook status updates vol 35

BetaRish (is)....

will be a caliph for an hour

is analogue first

is a corporate mascot, fluffily unthreatening

is democracy’s handmaiden

is a rolling boil, waiting for the potatoes

is a different form of efficiency

is a heady mix of scents, flavours and textures

is a bundle of issues, available at one low price

is back at the wordface

is proposing the loyal address

never gets the calibration between silly and stupid right

End of a lovely day in Nottingham. Holly is the best tour guide

is inculcating bad things into young minds

You Shall Know Me By My Radius Of Croissant Flakes

is primed

is kickoff ready

Triskadiskaphobics Utd 0 – 1 Sunshine Rovers

is the rain coming down in a New England town

is the flowing lines of a distinguished AW14 collection

would make a very fine prime minister of Luxembourg

has weak eyes

is an irrepressible engine of wants

is a victim of the federation’s unexpected success

suspects London is emptying

Why always someone else?

is rueing the absence of kickball today

Every ghost story is a drinking story

Relevance, where is thy sting?

Happy Successful Insurrection and Dodging Tax Payment Day America!

is impossibly probable, or possibly improbable

Oh really?

You spend a lifetime waiting for a match like that. And you miss it, because you’re watching a film at the cinema.

is hoping for a smooth, continuous workflow

You spend a lifetime watching matches like that. And you keep watching, in the hope it will be like last night’s match. And it never is

Lowering skies, increasing headache

My Facebook is all angles and Saxons right now

is looking to be last to market

is lacking a portfolio

Hot in the city

is hiding from heat, thunder, sleep

is fluttering, flittering, futzing

One could, one supposes, one could

And then we came to the beginning

The pink fizz has fizzed me out. I blame Laura Herrod

Espresso hasn’t touched the sides

is diaphanous, mostly

is really overthinking it today

Lf wtht vwls sn’t wth t